| | A light that shines.... |  |
|
+5LiveForDeath kimberlymhale.abh undeadgalwithpower99 Karen DeSonne xxluvblackxx 9 posters |
| Author | Message |
|---|
xxluvblackxx
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 7
Join date : 2009-03-27
 |  Subject: Cutting....A poem  Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:09 pm | |
|
Last edited by xxluvblackxx on Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:08 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : I don't want it here anymore) | |
|
 | |
Karen DeSonne
Karen
Posts : 295
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 31
Location : Oakvale, Connecticut
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:32 am | |
| That's really sad  but beautiful in an eerie sense if ya get me. Well done I'm sure you'll have a promising future in literature ^ - ^ ~K x | |
|
| | |
undeadgalwithpower99
Hearing about Tommy's Eye
Posts : 20
Join date : 2009-06-07
Location : ohio
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:36 am | |
| that is sad but then again it was really good | |
|
| | |
kimberlymhale.abh
Listening to Margie Gab
Posts : 65
Join date : 2009-07-14
Age : 29
Location : texas
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:56 am | |
| that was beautiful, in a depressing way. You are a really good writer.  kimberlyhale | |
|
| | |
LiveForDeath
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 4
Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 28
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:34 pm | |
|  that was amazingly beautiful. it makes me think.. ya know? just thanks. :] | |
|
| | |
xxluvblackxx
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 7
Join date : 2009-03-27
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:36 pm | |
| lol thankyou all ! I wrote it when i saw a girl write into the paper about how she use to cut but then stopped after she almost died from it. | |
|
| | |
xxluvblackxx
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 7
Join date : 2009-03-27
| | Subject: A light that shines.... Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:39 pm | |
|
Last edited by xxluvblackxx on Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:10 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I don't want it up) | |
|
| | |
xxluvblackxx
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 7
Join date : 2009-03-27
| | Subject: Feel my Pain Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:40 pm | |
|
Last edited by xxluvblackxx on Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:07 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I don't want it on here) | |
|
| | |
LiveForDeath
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 4
Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 28
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:47 pm | |
| thats beautiful | |
|
| | |
xxluvblackxx
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 7
Join date : 2009-03-27
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:43 pm | |
| | |
|
| | |
Xheart_hope2die
Noticing a Living Impaired w/a short skirt
Posts : 29
Join date : 2009-03-03
Age : 30
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:17 pm | |
| that's really sad, don't wallow in the "darkness" go claw their eyes out and tie their ears behind their head! mwahaha. | |
|
| | |
Keela
Finding out Tommy is on the Football team
Posts : 85
Join date : 2009-08-24
Location : On the baseball field in my Wonderland...la duh! =)
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:25 pm | |
| That poem is really good. I like it anyway. -Keela | |
|
| | |
Keela
Finding out Tommy is on the Football team
Posts : 85
Join date : 2009-08-24
Location : On the baseball field in my Wonderland...la duh! =)
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:57 pm | |
| You really are an amazing writer. that poem was sad, but really good.
-Keela | |
|
| | |
Xheart_hope2die
Noticing a Living Impaired w/a short skirt
Posts : 29
Join date : 2009-03-03
Age : 30
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:35 am | |
| um...i can't really grasp it. I like how it ends with an unfinished thought. it gives it great feeling. but the syllables don't match up all the time, and I see you're trying to use triple lines, which is fine as long as you don't end with the same words every other line.
I am definitely not saying it's bad, but there's room for revision. | |
|
| | |
ZOMB!cynthia
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 1
Join date : 2009-11-23
Age : 31
Location : Dearing, Ga
| | Subject: :D Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:22 pm | |
| Me likey!! I give it a 5 out of 5  <--Thats cutee | |
|
| | |
lexylovedead
Traditionally Biotic
Posts : 5
Join date : 2009-11-26
Age : 28
Location : potage the colors r red,black,and white
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:49 am | |
| - xxluvblackxx wrote:
- The sight of the girl
so small and depressed
holds onto the life
she knows as a string
The sight of the girl
so small and depressed
is now 18 but wildly pressed
a cut in the arm is nothing to her
but still is painful to endure
The sight of the girl
so small and depressed
has cut so much
it's a numbing effect
she does such things to realize her life
The sight of the girl
so small and depressed
cuts so deep it bleeds her to death
The sight of the girl
so small and depressed
is now an angel in heaven
helping at her best
recovered and saved from her life she once known
all cuts on her arms is now a blank ghost
We will never expect to find in the world
so many cuts so many sorrows................ thats just beautiful u have the poets eye mabey we could be friends | |
|
| | |
Sponsored content
| | Subject: Re: A light that shines.... | |
| |
|
| | |
| | A light that shines.... | |
|
